I am one lucky granddaughter.

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Lolo passed away yesterday morning at a reasonable and blissful age of 95 years. I did not expect it to happen this soon – this soon that he did not see me achieve the way I imagined, that he was not able to experience what I want to provide him by the time I am truly successful. I wanted to see him smile as he sees me grow professionally and personally. I wanted to see him happy just as how he was when he walked me to the stage during my preschool and elementary graduation, when he welcomed me home from my high school graduation (he was weak to come with me back then), when he waited for me to come home during college breaks and after college, when he talked to me on the phone while I was here in Manila studying and eventually working. I wanted to make him proud, to make him feel that all his sacrifices for me are worth it. By sacrifices I mean SACRIFICES.

Lolo, since I was a child, has become a father to me. From the time our family moved to Romblon when I was 4, Lolo has been so kind to me. He, in fact, spoiled me. Everytime I came home from school when I was in Kinder, we ate lunch together and watched Eat Bulaga together. He gave me barya every afternoon just so I can buy candies from the nearby store. In the evening, we had dinner together and again watch the news together. He also used to ride me on his big bike. I remember him driving and bringing me to the market, to the beach and then back home. He was the one who bought me a bicycle on which I learned to ride a bike. That bike lasted for years. We maintained it. He always provided for its repair. I also remember Lolo always reminding us to eat fruits and vegetables. Two to three years after we moved to Romblon, we had our own house built just beside Lolo’s (just five steps away from Lolo’s) and he never failed to share with us fruits. He always visited us even though his walk was gradually becoming slow and effortful.

Years passed and Lolo was still the same, so kind, so generous and so protective. Those I felt more when I stayed in Manila for college, far away from Lolo. He always asked how I was. He sent me fruits or rice whenever he could so that I won’t have the trouble of buying them here in the city. He provided for me financially whenever I was broke or whenever I had to buy something for school. He even bought me a laptop just so I won’t trouble myself borrowing my uncle’s laptop for school. [That laptop served me well and very much my whole college life but unfortunately it was stolen when our unit was robbed this April. I felt and still feel guilty but Lolo said what’s important was my safety.] Lolo was very excited whenever I went home from Manila. He made sure I’m comfortable whenever I travel. He (and Mommy) made sure I am picked up from the port and driven home. He made sure I am safe. I really felt I was his princess. 

Lolo never laid a hand on me for punishment but I always obey him. That is because I really look up to him. I respect him a lot. I love him very much. One time, I told him, “I love you Lo” before I left Romblon. He just smiled in reply. [Kinilig siguro si Lolo.] He may not be vocal but his fatherly love is overflowing that I am wrapped in it even now that he's gone.

His passing away was unexpected. It was so sudden. In my experience, it was a normal happy morning  when I received a message from Mommy that Lolo died this morning. I could not believe it. I was not prepared even a bit for that news. All this time, I was thinking of my future with Lolo in it. I was imagining at least five years from now with him. Now, I tell myself that it cannot happen. Yes, it was abrupt but his 95 years of life, for sure, was a life well-lived. I know for sure that he touched so many lives in those long years. Now, I am just thankful that Lolo was my lolo. I am a lucky granddaughter. I am lucky to have lived near him for a long time. I am lucky that he was given a long life.

To Lolo, I may not see you smile anymore, I may not hear your loud voice anymore but I won’t stop making you proud. I hope what I do will still make you smile. I also hope that you’re having fun up there with Lola Liling. May you rest in peace, Lolo. I love you. :* 

You will be missed Lo [tight hug]

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