Ward 11: My New Love

“Ayoko talaga sa pedia.”

“Wag talaga sa Ward 9. Wag sa Ward 11, Lord please...wag din OB”

“Ward 3 or 5 pleaaaaase~”

These were the words I declared, I thought and I hoped for before and even during the ward assignment for our N121.1 – Intensive Nursing Experience (Hospital-based).

SANA HINDI WARD 11.

January 21, 2013, Monday:

We were asked to choose our top 3 preferred ward assignments and briefly state why we chose that ward since the professors would consider our preferences for our ward assignments.  I chose Ward 5 (Neuro), Ward 6 (Neuro-Surgical) and Ward 3 (Medical). Ward 5 has been the ward I’m wishing for since I was in my third year in college. I enjoyed my first (and last, so far) experience there and I wanted to enjoy more there. Ward 6 was my second choice just because it had “neuro” in its name (yeah, lame). Finally, I chose Ward 3 because I also enjoyed my rotations there and I like the variation of cases there.  

Prof: I'll post your ward assignments, latest Wednesday. 

After a few minutes...

Prof: Sasabihin na pala namin assignments niyo ngayon.

WHUUUUUUT?????! K. (Again, I was silently praying for Ward 5 and for me not to be in pedia or OB)

Nerves. Anxiety. Mixed feelings were in that room at that moment. The professors began calling each ward, naming the students assigned to that ward. I was getting more tense and tense as the announcement proceeded. Ward 1, 2... Ward 3 was called, my name wasn’t called. Ward 4... Then Ward 5 was called, my name wasn’t called. Ward 6 was called, but my name wasn’t called yet. There came Ward 8, still I wasn’t being called. At this time, I was already feeling the touch of my natural lack of luck with things involving chances. I was also feeling nervous at the same time and in denial that I would probably be assigned in an OB-Gyne ward or in Pedia. Ward 9 was called, fortunately I wasn’t called. (Relief J) Ward 11... Ms. Salem and MS. FABON. That was me. Did I hear it right? I was assigned in Ward 11? I was assigned in the ward I least wanted to be in? Yes, I heard them right. I WAS ABOUT TO BE A NURSE IN PGH-WARD 11 – INFECTIOUS PEDIATRIC WARD FOR TWO MONTHS. I WAS ABOUT TO LIVE THE REST OF MY COLLEGE LIFE IN THAT WARD.

How could I even surviiiiiive? But despite the doubts, I just smiled. I was up-brought by the challenges I imagined I was about to face.

All I can do at that time was to hope for the best and to prepare myself. I prepared. I read. I made sure what I needed were complete. I tried to nullify the thought that pedia is my weakness. I believed that preparation was the key. I told myself that I was the one – and not anybody else – assigned in this ward for a reason. It could be for myself, for my partner or for the patients and other people around. Perhaps, I was put there on purpose. I kept on to that faith. I held on to that belief, with conviction. I believed that there’s no one who can make me feel confident and encouraged better than myself.

There passed my one month experience of primary nursing, two weeks of staff nursing and two weeks of head nursing. It was a 2-month-long experience of tiring days and sleepless nights. I had my sacrifices in terms of my physiologic needs (this was the span of time that I had been on NPO frequently); in terms of my social life (but thanks to the week-ender dinners with my college friends). I had my frustrations. I had my what-ifs. Yet in the end, there were nothing in me but joy, fulfilment, gratefulness and bliss. Words cannot contain how much I enjoyed, how much I loved those two months and how those two months loved me too. I’ll try to express everything here but I definitely assure you that this won’t suffice how I feel and this won’t cover how much I learned.

The ward itself was enlightening, literally. When I entered that ward, I felt light. There were colors unlike in the usual wards where everything was white or yellow. I liked the feel. From the first time I entered there for this year, I felt that it was a happy ward; that it would be an exciting experience being there; that it would be fun and learning-filled. From the start, I knew it. I would love this ward. I hoped that it would love me too. Thankfully, it did.

The staff was also very accommodating. They were kind and they were very willing to teach. In fact, it was overwhelming that from the start, it was as if they trusted us instantly. I would always hear them say, “Ikaw ba kay [insert patient’s name here]? O sige ikaw nang bahala ha? Ito iyong meds nya.... [insert further endorsements here]” Maybe you’ll say that they’re just escaping their jobs but no, they’re not. They see to it that we’re doing the right thing and that the patients were safe with us at the same time. They would frequently ask, “Oh kumusta ka? Okay lang? Kaya ba? Marunong ka ba mag [insert procedure here]? Magtanong ka lang kung hindi ka sigurado ha” or “Tawagin mo lang ako kung gusto mo i-assist kita”. They were that supportive. While they coached, sometimes, they also asked us trivial questions not to validate how much we learn, not to boast that they know more but for us to learn new things as well. As they would always tell us, “Marami kayong matututunan dito na hindi natuturo sa school.” Indeed, I learned a lot from them and by a lot, I really mean A LOT. They were not only good teachers, they were also like family. They would always say, “Oh Angel, kumain ka na ba? Kain ka muna, break muna” or “Ipinagtira namin kayo ng food, meron doon sa ref” or “Akin na, ako na muna dyan, kumain ka muna.” They really cared. They made me feel at home. Another thing that I won’t forget is that in this ward, I was called “Angela-bells, Baby Angel, Angel, Angela, Baby Ange.” HAHAHA. At first, I did not recognize that the Angel or Baby Angel they were calling was me but as time passed, I got used to those names that even my partner also called me Angel in the ward.

I would also like to commend Sir Archie, one of the staff nurses there, for his care and obvious willingness to teach us. I also witnessed how he really cared for patients. He talked to them as if they were friends.  He was the nurse that I really saw bathing the patients or dressing their wounds. There were these separate incidences when I asked two different patients.

Angel (paninindigan ko na to, haha): Sinong nagpalit ng leukoplast ng ET ni [insert patient’s name here], Nay?

Patient’s watcher: Ah iyong si ano, sino ba iyon, si Ar-Archie ba iyon?

Angel: Ah opo Nay, si Sir Archie po. Kailan po?

Patient’s watcher: Kagabi lang Ma’am. :)

Another incident:

Angel: Tay, sino pong huling nagpalit ng gasa niyang sa sugat ni Baby sa opera?

Patient’s watcher: Iyong isa, nag-iisang lalaki pero parang hindi.

Angel: Ay si Sir Archie po iyon Tay. Kailan pa po iyan?

Patient’s watcher: Noong isang araw.

Angel: Dinadaanan pa po ba siya ng surgery para malinis iyan?

Patient’s watcher: Hindi na.

So from that incident, I took care of cleaning the patient’s surgical wound. I know it’s really part of the nurses’ job to do such but not all are doing such minute details of patient care. That is why, I really admire him. Not only is he a good nurse, he’s also a good friend to the staff and he gets along well with the doctors. The residents love him because he’s also a good IV access “inserter” – even better than the doctors (even though in fact, most nurses there are better inserters than the doctors). J

Besides the staff, my partner had also been a good partner to me. We really weren’t close friends prior to this course and I did not imagine that we’ll be eventually good friends. She was a good companion. Before this experience, I just saw her as one of the topnotchers of our batch, an excellent student. But as I worked with her, I saw how natural she is and how she, just like me,  gets toxic at times (kumbaga, tao rin pala siya). Even though I have the reasons to get intimidated by her achievements, she did not make me feel that I should feel so. It was just like us friends getting immersed in that lovable area. I am really lucky having her as a partner in this unforgettable and irreplaceable experience.

Our clinical instructor was also a big factor for the success of this immersion and for the good memories in this experience. She treated us like colleagues even though of course, I still looked at her as the instructor and the professor. She was very supportive. She was never out of encouraging words. Even though at times, I felt that my performance did not go well or that what I did wasn’t enough, she made sure that I still see the positive side. She made me feel that I was competent, that I was doing well (or bola lang ba iyon? Haha). She helped me somehow increase my confidence given that I am a naturally shy person. She made the batch feel that she was with us through this experience. Really, a lot of thank you’s to her.

Most of all, I can say that the patients in the ward were the greatest contributors for this good experience in Ward 11. It was really fun taking care of them. Aside from taking care of their physiologic needs, their developmental and psychosocial needs were also addressed. It is given that dealing with pediatric patients really entails creativity and I’m glad that I’m able to do so. I had a lot of activities with these kids. We did play. We did art. We did telling stories. It’s not that I’m regressing to childhood but it’s just nice that these children seem to teach me how to be childlike. From them, I learned to be happy with even little things. I enjoyed chatting with them, they had varied ideas that you can’t get from an adult. Some patients would even sing a song. One kikay patient even told me that I should not wear glasses because I’m prettier without them. One of the intubated patients, when I had a dressed wound on the arm, even signaled what happened to my arm. It was touching that he was concerned for me as well. He waved his hand whenever I greeted him “hi” or “hello”.  He was able to participate in his care as he was able to indicate if he still had secretions orally that needed to be suctioned even though he was not able to speak. Every patient had their unique stories, they had their unique cuteness. They were very adorable. Some of them were initially afraid of me because they associate nurses with syringes and with pain, but eventually, some even requested that I be the only one changing their IV bottles or the only one feeding them. These simple gestures were big deal for me. I felt that they trusted me. I felt that they believed that I could care for them well. 

Of course not all experiences with them were pleasant just like those I mentioned about the patients afraid of me. I also had unpleasant experiences with some watchers. There was this one who did not want me to intervene to the patient and who preferred doing the procedures themselves. I was persistent in insisting that I do the care and the simple “consistent” monitoring of the patient seemed to make them trust me that eventually, we were even chatting with each other and I was doing the patient care. There was also this watcher who raised her voice on me because she was panicking that the head of her grandson who was really prone for increased ICP was aching. While this was happening, I was there assessing the patient and ensuring his proper positioning. After that, I immediately left and she still kept on somehow shouting. Minutes later, the doctor came to see the patient. When she knew that I referred the patient to the resident, she then thanked me and from there, she was already kind to me.

Well, there are a lot of stories that I want to tell but it seems that only my memory and the ward can tell them fully. Words really can’t contain how much I enjoyed and how much I learned from Ward 11. Those two months were indeed stressful in terms of the papers and other requirements but being in the ward was very enjoyable. I loved what I was doing. The thank you’s from the patients, the watchers, the staff are irreplaceable. In fact, because of this experience, it seemed that I have found the career that I really want to pursue. I want to specialize in special education. I want to be a pediatric nurse and at the same time, a therapist or a teacher for children with cognitive impairment. I would also love to advocate for children and help or even have my own charity for them when I have the resources.

I’m just grateful that I was given the chance to experience this. I’m grateful that I was chosen to be in that ward with those people. This intensive nursing experience made me mature not only academically but also professionally and personally. <3

<PICTURES TO FOLLOW SOON> ;)