EXTERNAL DRIVE

When one door closes, another opens. True. You’ve come into my life fast. I welcomed you easily and hoped that “it” will be consistent. Well, I guess I made the wrong move. I should have trusted my instinct. From the start, I felt something was wrong. Everything was fast but I told myself that life is full of surprises. You were one of those surprises, yes, but I thought you were one of the good ones. I thought wrong. Maybe I overanalyzed everything and I hoped for so much. I hoped that you liked me. I hoped that you found me interesting. I hoped that you wanted to know me more. I hoped that you enjoyed the times that we’re together. For some reason I hoped for these but deep in me, I know that I should not. You have no reason to be attached with me. Yes, you have none. I don’t have to enumerate my imperfections because in the past, almost everyday, I thought of them. I am exhausted frustrating myself for so long. TORTURE I think I learned how to deal with th...

I feel nothing right now but confusion and uncertainty. I have been living by the mantra, “When you want it, work on it” and I have been trying to be a living proof of that mantra as much as possible. In fact, the past three and a half years has been a journey full of that mantra – not until this day came. When I was in elementary, I dreamt of being a teacher and almost everyday of my life at that age, I tried to be closer to my dream. I even tried to be an instant teacher. I wrote on the walls of my room, called my sisters for my lecture, used a stick to point at the board, gave quizzes and dismissed my class. As I got older, I suddenly wanted to be a doctor. I do not know how it came to my mind. I just blurted out that one day, I will become one until high school came. During high school, I then wanted to be a lawyer – again, for no certain reason. All I knew was that I liked to be one. Then, alas! Fate led me to pursue a health-related degree and not a long time from n...

They say MOTHERS KNOW BEST. I have to disagree with this sometimes but one thing is certain for me – MOTHERS CARE BEST . After about more than a month, my mother arrived here from the province. She brought not only REAL FOOD but also a bunch of stories from home and a lot of questions as well. Like we always do, we talked over lunch and dinner. We shared stories and yes, it’s as if we do not talk over the phone because we really rarely do. I’m not a fan of having to elaborate stories over the phone or through messaging. It’s just that it’s hard to describe things when your facial expressions and gestures are not seen by who you’re talking to. Anyway, it was indeed a juicy talk. We discussed some serious matters like academics and my sister’s adjustment here in the city but we discussed more not-so-serious things like the Maroon 5 concert,  the UAAP Cheerdance Competition, the last Nursecissism, and others. That was the story part. The question part? Well, she just ask...